The Real God

Do I see God for who he truly is, or do I see God for how I would like him to be? Is God real; is he truly other, or do I worship a God who is shaped in my image, crafted in my head by all that I wish Him to be? Even when I pray and study Scripture, am I encountering the Living God, or am I simply attempting self-improvement through these rituals of discipline?

I have been thinking about God’s reality these past few days, which oddly enough, is something I don’t often think about. I’ve always believed in God. I’ve always known that He is real, at least theoretically. God is real, even more real than I am, but, while I know He is real, I do not always live with an awareness of His reality. Not that I deny His existence or doubt His truth, but I do tend to treat Him as if He is there in order to serve me or to fulfill my desires. Perhaps I have focus too much on God’s imminence and not enough on His otherness. I meditate on His love and compassion but much less on his Lordship and sovereignty.

God longs for and expects my devotion, yet I often get this turned around. Rather than submitting to the will of this very real King of Creation, I seek to bend His will to mine. I ask Him to serve me, to bless me, to transform me. He becomes the means to my ends. I treat Him as if He exists to fulfill my life. How egocentric! How corrupt is my thinking!

Today I recognize that God does not exist for my pleasure; I exist for His. I am created by Him and for Him. While He does desire union with me, He does not need me. I, on the other hand, would cease to exist if it were not for his constant, sustaining reality. All that I am rests completely on His Being. I am only because He Is.

Today I am thankful that God is a real and loving Father. He understands this perversion in my thinking, but He still calls me His son. I may often be the son who thinks His Father’s only purpose is to make his son happy, to give him his inheritance whenever he wishes to receive it. I may forget that I would not even be here if it weren’t for the will of my Father. Yet He still loves, as a patient Father loves his children. He is longsuffering with my self-centeredness. He blesses me even though I don’t deserve it. He gives grace, even to those who selfishly seek it.

Wedding Pics

Bleaker than Fiction

I lost a lot of sleep back in January because I picked up a book that I had a hard time putting down. I don't read a lot of fiction, but I would highly recommend "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy to anyone who is interested (it was recently made into a movie but I haven't seen it yet). I'd start reading in bed at 10pm, and would read well past midnight, which is much too late for me. Thankfully it's a short book, and I was able to quickly get back to my usual sleeping schedule.

"The Road" is the story of a father and son in a post-apocalyptic America, and despite the books devastatingly bleak picture of the future, it also gives glimpses of beauty and hope. I don't want to give too much away, so I'll just say that it's definitely worth your time.

Because I enjoyed "The Road" so much and because I was getting ready to head out on a trip to MN with about 1,800 miles of driving, I recently picked up and listened to McCarthy's "No Country for Old Men" on audio CD from our local library. It's another dark and deeply disturbing story. McCarthy personifies evil in a manner that is both fascinating and unsettling. Both books portray the battle between good and evil, but most of the time the evil is so horrendous that it far outweighs the good. Yet, in the most bleak circumstances, I found myself hoping against hope for the salvation of those who were good. In the darkest of stories, the small flicker of goodness, perhaps even grace, shines through.

Ready for March Madness

A Sign of Things to Come

Jill’s sister’s wedding was on Saturday, and she and Jovi were in the wedding. I couldn’t help but think while watching Jovi come down the center aisle that perhaps this is foreshadowing of some sad yet joyful day not so many years from now. Anyway, both my girls did great. Weddings are always fun. Here’s the quick video I took before grabbing Jovi as she made it up to me in the front of the church:

Hard Time Keeping Up

Hello Folks,
Well as you can see, I'm having a hard time keeping up on my blog. Everytime I read a book or see a movie, I think, I ought to write something about that, but it just doesn't seem to happen. This has been low on my priority list lately. So, I do at least try to remember to post on Jovi's progress every now and then.
We recently got a video camera, so here's my 1st attempt at posting a video from it. We celebrated Christmas a few days late with my family back in Ohio. Jovi was modeling her "silly smile" in which she crinkles her nose really big. It's lots of entertainment for Jill and I.

Getting Ready for Christmas

Less of a Man

Yesterday, I felt like I needed a change....felt like I needed to mix things up, so I shaved my beard completely off for the first time in about three years. I'm afraid this might hurt my image as the scraggly young pastor. As a clean shaven man, I feel somewhat like I'm less of a man. I wonder if Jesus would agree with me on that.

Halloween

Jovi was ladybug for Halloween. Jill made the costume, and it looks like it will fit her for the next 3 or 4 years. The night she first put it on, she was pretty proud of herself. We had music on, and she started doing her latest Jovi-dance. See the video below. Lately she’s also found it very amusing to stick an ice-cream bucket on her head and walk around….strange kid…gets it from her mom.