The Honeycomb Evangelization

The conquest of my holistic remedy indoctrination of the world has begun. Jill was getting groceries yesterday, and the cashier sneezed and said, “Oh, my allergies are killin’ me!” Jill responded, “You may want to try taking some honeycomb. I know it sounds weird, but my husband took it this spring and his allergies have been cured…”

Allergy Update

Well, I’m still going strong with my honeycomb treatment. We’re over halfway through April and I have only taken one allergy pill this entire spring. At the height of allergy season last year, my nose was constantly running and I sneezed 50-100 times per day, and that was while using medication! This year, I have sneezed 4 or 5 times on my worst day, and my nose hasn’t run at all. So, for all of you naysayers out there (Tully), I just want to let you know that I am convinced that honeycomb has worked wonders for my allergies.

I also wanted to let you know that while I’ve been taking honeycomb, I haven’t been sick, developed any cancers, or had any heart attacks. Now, I'm not going to guarantee that honeycomb can cure all such ailments, but I think it's pretty clear that it prevents them. If you have any miracle honeycomb stories, please let me know.

The Birds and the Sneeze

I’ve always been pretty skeptical of the holistic medicine scene. My wife, who’s a nurse, was recently told by a kooky propagator of holistic medicine that doctors have a cure for cancer, but they refuse to use it because there’s so much money in the cancer business! Perhaps a conspiracy theorist who listens to AM radio at 3 o’clock in the morning would buy such an argument, but I don’t. There may be some value to holistic medicine, but I have a hard time believing the claims of hippies and crazy persons.

But….my experience this spring may be changing my mind. I have some of the worst spring allergies of anyone I have ever met. They have become so bad in recent years that I dope myself up on all kinds of medication and avoid going outside at all costs, and still I remain pretty miserable for about a month. I have tried everything, but nothing seems to work. In my search for new remedies, I came across a website recommended eating honeycomb to help with seasonal allergies. I was skeptical, but I was willing to try anything. So, I went to the local all-natural grocery store and picked up some honeycomb and have been eating it everyday…and…my allergies have not bothered me at all this spring! The allergy forecast has been very high for Kentucky, and I remain unbothered. If this continues, I may grow some dreadlocks, make some hemp clothing, and open up a holistic honeycomb farm where I can sell my new remedy for allergies that the doctors just don’t want you to know about.