Grace in the Midst of Conflict

Ministry certainly has its share of situations that can become frustrating. Being in the public eye and being a leader of an organization has opened me up to criticism and conflict, neither of which is enjoyable. I’m finding that when I am faced with criticism or conflict, I can quickly become combative....rather than stopping, praying, and doing my best to show grace to those who are critical or bitter, I often quickly strike back. I argue with them, try to convince them that they are wrong, but most of the time I’m not very successful.

God is beginning to show me another way. I recently read an account of Mother Teresa in a book about her ministry entitled “Faith and Compassion.” The author recounts a situation in which Mother Teresa is faced with an angry crowd of lepers whom her sisters have been trying to serve:

“The crowd that surrounded Mother Teresa at Seemapuri on a hot summer afternoon in 1993 was angry and resentful. They were full of complaints, which they hurled at her in rapid succession. Was Mother Teresa aware how bad the dal (souped lentils, a staple ingredient of the diet) tasted? She would never be able to eat it herself, said one. But she had just had it for lunch, and it was fine, she replied. Don’t eat it again he retorted, or you’ll fall ill. We are not allowed to smoke in the dormitories, objected another. “Try not to smoke at all,” said Mother with a smile, “or, if you must, step onto the verandah.” Look at my hand, said a third, it’s been bleeding and the Sisters have not done anything about it. “We’ll show it the doctor in a little while,” replied Mother, and the man lapsed into a somewhat satisfied silence. Look at my shoes, remonstrated another, the rehabilitation unit had made them so badly that they hurt. “We’ll get them to fit you into another pair,” she said. It continued in this vein for 20 minutes or so, until everyone seemed to have had their say. To each she replied calmly and gently. Finally, silence descended. As she prepared to move away, they rose and, one by one, came to touch her feet. She restrained as many as she could, for she doesn’t encourage this practice….it is, however, a battle she invariably loses, for in India this is a custom that signifies respect for an elder, and is a daily, commonplace occurrence. As they turned away, Mother Teresa said to me, “Each of them has suffered so much pain and humiliation. Once in a while their bitterness overcomes them. Sometimes the Sisters have a very difficult time calming them. Yet when we ask our young Sisters who would like to go and work with the lepers, every hand is up.”

What a gracious spirit! Mother was not unreasonable in the way she responded, but her capacity to reason was not what won over her critics. It was her patience, gentleness, and goodness that turned the situation around from an environment of conflict and criticism to one of grace and gratitude.