This is a bleak post to start out a blog, but it’s what’s been on my mind…
We found out a little over a month ago that Jill was pregnant, and we were pretty excited. We don’t have any children, so this was life-changing news. We started making lots of plans looking forward to our future.
Last week Jill miscarried. It was one of the saddest days of my life. It’s been a rough week.
Today, I’ve been reading J. L .Mackie’s Evil and Omnipotence and Alvin Plantinga’s The Free Will Defense regarding the problem of evil. I’ve been thinking a lot about the problem of evil lately. When we consider all of the evil in the world, it is hard to reconcile it with a good and all-powerful God. This is a huge issue for the Christian faith, and Christians need to be prepared to give answers to those who use it to discredit the faith.
It struck me today, as I was reflecting on this problem for Christianity, that I haven’t thought about our miscarriage as part of the problem of evil. The miscarriage broke our hearts, and I certainly don’t have any explanation as to why a good God would allow this to happen. But, this tragedy hasn’t shaken my faith or made me think that there is a contradiction between God’s goodness and his power. I find it strange that the theoretical problem of evil has made me question my view of God more than the experience of personal evil. In the midst of personal evil, I don’t find myself seeking answers to tough questions. I find myself seeking grace and comfort from the very God who doesn’t always make sense.
5 comments:
Tristan,
What a heartbreaking experience. It's great to know you are seeking God's grace and comfort rather than seeking answers to the tough questions. However, you are exactly right when you say we need to be prepared to give answers to those who question why our loving God would allow such a heartbreaking experience. A friend of mine just wrote a book, it's actually a small group workbook, on miscarriage and it's quite good. If you want to take a look, you can find it on www.carepointministry.org The name of the book is "Breaking the Silence." by Sylvia E. Sheets McDonald
Tristan, I know I am late coming to this topic and that you may never see this comment, but I have to tell you, this is one of the most profound insights into the problem of evil that I have ever read. Your comments struck a cord in me, and I think you're really hitting on something here, something that might go further in dealing with the problem of evil than any of our philisophical pontifications ever could. You sort of reminded me of C.S. Lewis in his A Grief Observed.
Sean,
Thanks for your kind words (although comparing my post to anything by C.S. Lewis is like comparing a broken down tricycle with three flat tires to a brand new Ferrari). I’ve been thinking that maybe my unquestioning attitude toward God in light of our miscarriage just makes me a fideist, which is something I wouldn’t be totally proud of. I’ve also thought that our tragedy is not existentially comparable to the tragedy of someone like Lewis who lost his wife. I don’t mean this to minimize the life that was lost in our miscarriage, but it wasn’t like we knew this person or loved this person in the way a husband knows and loves his wife. I suspect that I would question God a lot more if my wife tragically died (even though I know you believe that she doesn’t exist).
But, despite all of this, I do think that there may be a big difference between theoretical and existential evil. Existential evil should be the hardest to deal with, but it seems that theoretical evil is where most of our questions and problems arise.
Tristan, I liked the analogy of the tricycle and the Ferrari. Quite vivid. By saying that you "sort of" reminded me of Lewis I was not only trying to flatter you and inflate your self-esteem, but I was also making the point that I found some similarities in your approaches to Lewis' in dealing with tragedy. But if it will make you happy and satisfy your excessive self-deprecating modesty, then, well, your post was stinky crud...
Yeah, I think that's much more accurate
Post a Comment